Tag, I'm it!

I've been tagged! List seven facts about yourself the tag your friends and ask them to do the same!

Ok...

1. I GOT MARRIED WHEN I WASN'T EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO LEGALLY ENJOY A TOAST AT THE RECEPTION (I WAS ONLY 20)

2. I HAVEN'T LIVED AT HOME SINCE I WAS 18 YEARS OLD (NEARLY TEN YEARS AGO) BUT I FIND MYSELF STUCK HERE FOR THE TIME BEING

3. I'M NOT NAMED AFTER ANYONE IN MY FAMILY

4. MY TOENAILS ARE PAINTED AT ALL TIMES

5. SOMETIMES I WISH DADDY WAS STILL IN THE MILITARY

6. I HAVE GRAY HAIR

7. WE SWITCHED TO CLOTH DIAPERS WHEN BUBBA WAS JUST A FEW MONTHS OLD AND I LOOOOOOVE IT!!

Now tag your friends!

Christa at http://quintooples.blogspot.com
Shannon at http://whyareyoustaring.blogspot.com
The other two people I wanted to tag have already been tagged so... Guess I need more friends? LOL

Another Stroll Down Memory Lane

It's Wednesday again. Time for a little walk.

A couple of weeks ago I posted about how Daddy and I met (the short version). This week I'm going to revel in the five years of marriage before Bubba joined us.

Like most new brides, I was looking forward to the day when we'd start our family. Daddy had only one year left on his current enlistment so we decided to wait until we got settled somewhere.
That year rolled around and we decided that we really didn't have anything saved so we COULD leave the military. On May 6, 2002 he re-enlisted for five years.

Little did I know the ride of my life was going to start soon.

Statistics show that about one in three couples struggle with infertility. Let me tell you something. When you're the one struggling it's reeeally hard to find those other people. At my lowest point, I was friends with four other pregnant women. Everywhere I looked there was a growing tummy. It was a constant reminder. Add to that a friend who was going through an unplanned pregnancy and contemplating adoption and I was a wreck! (I thought, "She doesn't WANT to keep her baby and all I can think about is how I can't have one!")

I saw the doctor but never mentioned our desire to have a baby. I was just scared of what I might hear. I wasn't emotionally ready to hear that I'd never be able to be pregnant. I guess I thought suffering in silence left that little glimmer of hope.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, as you know. In August of 2004 Daddy left for Korea. I moved home to spend the year with family instead of living in Texas alone. I was able to concentrate on things other than babies. (I suppose when your husband isn't around and having a baby isn't even a possibility, it lightens the burden some.) When that year was over we headed to Alaska. I had had some time to do some serious soul searching and I was ready to do what had to be done.

A couple of different doses of Metformin proved to be unsuccessful. Next came an ultrasound that diagnosed polycystic ovaries. After that was an endometrial biopsy and, finally a round of Provera. There was talk of Clomid and checking for blockages in my fallopian tubes. Thankfully, the Provera was all that was needed.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if we had done that waaay back when but then I realize that God knew what he was doing. (DUH!)
If I had gotten pregnant right away, we wouldn't have been in a good place financially.
If I had gotten pregnant late in 2003, we would have found out soon after that Daddy was leaving for Korea.
If I had already been pregnant in 2004, I would have had to deliver a baby or care for a baby (or both) by myself for a year.
In the end, December of 2006 was the perfect time.

I wouldn't wish fertility problems on my worst enemy. Imagine wanting nothing more than to have a child with your husband but you can't. You feel broken. You feel like less of a woman because you can't do something that "everyone" else can. You feel like a failure.
It's absolutely the worst feeling in the world.

Looking back now I honestly wouldn't change a thing. That sounds completely crazy after the last paragraph but it's true. Dealing with something like that can make or break a marriage and I'm happy to say we made it. Now I'm thankful for the five years we had as just us. We can never get those years back now that we're Mommy and Daddy.

I've Come to Realize...

This "down time" has really put things into perspective for me.

I've come to realize that while I absolutely love being closer to friends and family, there comes a time when a space of your own is worth more than words can say.

I've come to realize that even though it's WONDERFUL to have your husband around to help out and to spend quality time with your son, it's also a true test of wills at times.

I've come to realize that your way may not necessarily be better than your mother's but you sure like your way a whole lot more!

I've come to realize that when you finally do get a chance to see your old friends, some of them won't be as you remembered. Maybe it's YOU that's not the same but, either way, someone is different.

I've come to realize that even just a part time night job makes people think that you're less of a "loser".

I've come to realize that some people can really make you feel bad for decisions that you've made.

I've come to realize that you can't always plan for the future. You're not the one writing the story!

I've come to realize that the little quirks your family has will be more annoying than the big ones.

I've come to realize that there will always be someone that doesn't understand your choices. And THAT'S OK.

I've come to realize that warm country sunshine can do wonders for the soul.

I've come to realize that just because you've known someone since kindergarten that doesn't mean they know you best.

I've come to realize that you can buy a can of soup, you can literally hide that can of soup in the pantry but when you want to eat said can of soup, it'll be gone.

I've come to realize a lot of things.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would be married for nearly eight years with a toddler and living with my parents. Never.

I know that this is just a bump in the road and that when we get to where we're supposed to be, it will all make sense.

I know that I will enjoy coming home to visit that much more because we won't be living here.

I know that I'll appreciate the home that we'll have and the space that we'll share.

I know I'll be even more thankful for my wonderful husband.

I know I'll wish all of the friends that have changed so much were closer again.

I know I'll make new friends and have new experiences that will ultimately change me...again.

I know that after weeks of long hours at work, I'll wish Chris just had that part time job again.

I know that I'll find myself feeling lonely without a houseful of "extra" people.

I know there will be times when I wish there were someone to share the cooking and cleaning chores with.

I know I'll find myself homesick sometimes, especially if we live far away again.

I know all of this will make me a better person.

Maybe I DO get out...

Even though I wasn't "tagged" and I don't intend to "tag" someone else, I still thought this was interesting. Go down this list and put the things you have done/accomplished in bold

Doing this really gave me the perspective I needed today.


Started your own blog

Slept under the stars

Played in a band

Visited Hawaii

Watched a meteor shower

Given more than you can afford to charity

Been to Disneyland/World

Climbed a mountain

Held a praying mantis

Sang a solo

Bungee jumped

Visited Paris

Watched a lightning storm at sea

Taught yourself an art from scratch

Adopted a child

Had food poisoning

Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

Seen the Mona Lisa in France

Slept on an overnight train

Had a pillow fight

Hitchhiked

Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

Built a snow fort

Held a lamb

Gone skinny dipping

Been to a Broadway show in NY

Ran a Marathon

Been in three states at once (Two, I suppose. Ever been to Texarkana? LOL

Ridden in a gondola in Venice

Seen a total eclipse

Watched a sunrise or sunset

Hit a home run

Been on a Cruise

Seen Niagra Falls in Person

Visited the birthplace of your Ancestors

Seen an Amish community

Taught yourself a new language

Had enough money to be truly satisfied

Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

Gone rock climbing

Seen Michelangelo’s David

Sung karaoke

Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

Visited Africa

Walked on a beach by moonlight

Been transported in an ambulance

Had your portrait painted

Gone deep sea fishing

Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

Kissed in the rain

Played in the mud

Been to Grace Kelley’s grave in Monaco

Gone to a drive-in theater

Been in a movie

Visited the Great Wall of China

Started a business

Taken a martial arts class

Swam in the Mediterranean Sea

Visited Russia

Served at a soup kitchen

Sold Girl Scout cookies

Gone whale watching

Gotten flowers for no reason

Donated blood, platelets or plasma

Gone sky diving

Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

Bounced a check

Saved a favorite childhood toy

Visited the Lincoln Memorial

Eaten Caviar

Pieced a quilt

Stood in Times Square

Toured the Everglades

Been fired from a job

Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

Broken a bone

Been on a speeding motorcycle

Seen the Grand Canyon in person

Published a book

Visited the Vatican

Bought a brand new car

Walked in Jerusalem

Had your picture in the newspaper

Read the entire Bible

Visited the White House

Killed and prepared my own meat

Had chickenpox

Saved someone’s life

Sat on a jury

Met someone famous

Joined a book club

Lost a loved one

Had a baby

Seen the Alamo in person

Swam in the Great Salt Lake

Been involved in a law suit

Owned a cell phone

Been stung by a bee

Never in a Million Years

Just about a year ago, I remember having a conversation with a friend of mine about how quickly time was moving and how we'd be getting ready to leave Alaska before we knew it. Sure enough, August rolled around just as planned and we headed home.

We arrived in Pittsburgh, PA on September 3 so thrilled to be moving on with the next chapter of our lives and so full of excitement for what was ahead.
That was nearly five months ago.

I wish I could say we're full of that same excitement today. Instead I'm anxious about finances and worried that we'll never be able to move on with our lives. If we could have predicted the sharp economic downturn in August, I don't think we'd be here today. Who could have though? Not only was the economy in better shape but we were blinded by the excitement of being a regular civilian family, "away" from the military.

Never in a million years would I have thought that finding a good job that would be enough to support a family so hard for Daddy to find. I figured we'd stay with my parents for a month or two, buy our first home and move on. Not only has none of that happened but I'm still wearing the same suitcase of clothing that I was in August!

Tomorrow afternoon Daddy has yet another phone call scheduled with yet another company. I just pray that this is The One. I don't know how much more we can take. The disappointment is getting harder and harder to swallow, the money we had in savings is nearly gone and I'm starting to let myself regret leaving the Air Force.

I know that once he finds that job it will all make sense. I know that there is a plan that is much bigger than we can even imagine. I've just never been good at sitting back and letting things be.

Wednesday's Walk

I saw this on a friend's blog and thought it was perfect! I'm going to follow her great lead and start my Wednesday Walk with how Daddy and I met. I'll just hit the major details. Otherwise, I fear this entry will be miles long.

Daddy and I officially met when I was a freshman and he was a senior in high school. We knew each other because we were in a couple of different activities together. I got to know him a little better when he started dating a friend of mine.

The year ended and he graduated. I was sad to see him go because we had become pretty good friends. We kept in touch after he left for college but I don't really think either of us saw us being any more than friends.

After nearly a whole year of talking when we could and seeing each other occasionally, we officially became a couple. Imagine my father's horror when he finds out his 15-year-old daughter is seeing a guy that is about to turn 19. He never said anything but my mother assures me now that he "wasn't sure about the whole thing.".

We were still dating when he decided college wasn't for him and he enlisted in the Air Force. I'm sure a lot of people were thinking that we'd never make it through basic training. We proved everyone wrong by not only making it through BMT but becoming engaged over Thanksgiving break of my first year in college.

Three short months after I graduated we were married and headed to San Antonio, Texas. We've been together since May of 1997 and married since October of 2001. And, by the way, my dad is just fine with everything now. ;)

QotD

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE OUTSIDE WINTER ACTIVITY?

My new favorite winter activity is pulling Bubba around on his sled. My mom bought him a sled a week or so ago. Add the fact that it was just he and I for the whole weekend and the fact that we got nearly epic snowfall and you have my new favorite thing.
He absolutely loooooves this sled! The first time I put him on it, he giggled for nearly five minutes. His little "heehee's" made me giggle to myself as we took a stroll down the driveway to get the mail.

Daddy came home last night so we took the opportunity to go outside again this morning so Daddy could see how much he loves his new toy. I think he loves it even more now that Daddy jogged around the driveway and took him on a little joyride. We have a little daredevil on our hands...

Only a few hundred more miles of trudging through the snow before he gets tired of it and I lose the baby weight. LOL

Here's a picture of the festivities:

How rich are you?

Here's the question of the day. Well, it's not actually from TODAY but I liked this one. You can find QotD for your own blog at www.questions.vox.com

WHAT MAKES A PERSON RICH?

Well, you're going to think this is very cliche but I don't think being rich has anything to do with dollar signs.
(I suppose dealing with the military and my husband being jobless at the moment have something do do with this. LOL Could be my upbringing though...)

I truly believe that a person is "rich" when they surround themselves with people that they care about and never take that time with them for granted.

Living life to the fullest and never taking your days here on Earth for granted can sometimes be tough. You just expect you'll wake up in the morning, don't you? I'm guilty of that for sure. Instead of expecting such things why not take a minute and thank God for the opportunity to get it right today. (Let's be honest, you weren't perfect yesterday.) Live each day with a thankful heart and a yearning to make your life and the lives of those around you just a little more pleasant.

I heard this saying a few years ago and it really struck chord with me. It made perfect sense to me. LIFE ON EARTH IS JUST PRACTICE FOR YOUR ETERNAL LIFE IN HEAVEN. I don't know about you but I was always taught that you practice for the Big Game and I can't think of a "game" bigger than that.

Living a "rich" life has nothing to do with how padded your pockets are. You can't take any of your Earthly possessions with you when you go anyhow. Surround yourself with good, caring, loving people and thank the Lord each morning for the chance to practice again.

Greener Grass

So here's something I never thought I'd hear myself say: I miss Alaska.

For the nearly three years we were there, I couldn't wait to leave. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed living in the Land of the Midnight Sun. I'm what most would call a homebody and Alaska was just a bit too far from home for my tastes. Add to that the fact that, after a while, you start to feel like you're stranded on an island because you can drive for days and never leave the state and I was ready for my ticket home.

Having said that, I am really grateful for the experience. The scenery is something I've never seen in my life. I honestly couldn't stop staring at the mountains for weeks (And yes, they really do look purple sometimes.) While we were in TLF I would literally sit on the corner of the spare bed and stare out at the simple beauty of the sun hitting the side of the bare mountain. I would stare at all of that beauty out of just one window and wonder how someone could say God doesn't exist.

Moose and their calves, Dall sheep, grizzlies, otters... Honey, we're not in Pennsylvania anymore! In PA the biggest thing to wonder out in front of your car is a white tail deer (Or, in some cases, a random farmer's cow.) and road kill usually looks something like a rabbit, skunk, "possum" (as we say it around these parts) or squirrel.

As with living in any other part of the country, I slowly started to take my scenery for granted. "Yep, there's another mountain." "Oh, another moose in the backyard." "There's a black bear running around the neighborhood again? I was just going to go get the mail!."

It wasn't until we were a few days away from leaving that the thought of never seeing such things again really hit home. Happy to be heading back to Pennsylvania but sad to leave this adventure behind. That was me
.
I find myself checking up on all of my friends still living in Alaska. What's the temperature today? Any more snow? Any animals wondering about? What's new on base? How's that construction mess on the Glenn looking?

I suppose I'm just feeling a bit misplaced. Yep, we're home. Literally. Moving yourself, husband, toddler, dog and cat (and all of the necessary items for each) in with your parents isn't all it's cracked up to be. While I'm eternally grateful for the roof over our heads and the food in our bellies, I'm ready to move on. It's wonderful to be back "home" among family and friends but somehow I just don't know where I belong anymore.