Thursday, July 23, 2009


Today Chris left for Texas. His flight left from Pittsburgh at 7:30 am so we decided to get up in the middle of the night (3:00) to drive rather than making the trip the day before. If we would have gone on Wednesday afternoon/evening, we would have had to spend the money on a hotel, a dinner out and fight with Alex to sleep (he is NOT a good hotel sleeper). It was just much easier, as crazy as it sounds, to get up at early and be home by 7:30.

We had a rainy drive in the dark. I was glad that Chris was driving because there is nothing I hate more than driving in the rain in the dark. I have horrible night vision and the rain just makes it worse. Makes you wanna take a ride with me after dark, doesn't it? ;) Thankfully, I had a much less rainy drive home AND it was light out. Bonus!

Our good-bye was short and sweet. I could barely talk in the car without wanting to cry so I just didn't say anything. I always try so hard to be "me" when we have to say good-bye.

I guess it all stems from our good-bye before he left for Korea...

With all of the stress and preparations with our move from Texas, I hadn't really had much time to actually think about how he would be gone for an entire year. The night before I was to leave for the drive home, I lost it. The house was empty and we were sleeping on a pile of borrowed blankets. It all just sunk in and I bawled like a baby. Chris asked me if I could do him a favor. He asked me if, when we said good-bye the next morning, I would try hard not to cry. He wanted to have a happy image of me to take with him.

I'm proud to say that I did it. I'm not sure how, but I did. I always think of that now when he has to leave for an extend amount of time. I thought about that again this morning.

The next six weeks will be a mix of things, I'm sure. I know there will be sleepless nights, early mornings, frustrating days, and huge messes. I know that there will be afternoons without naps and late evenings. I also know that there will be lots of laughs and several milestones. The biggest of those milestones being a second birthday.

In a really weird way, I'm looking forward to this time. It's always nice to prove to myself that I can do things alone. It's really empowering. I'm looking forward to some time to gather my thoughts to get ready for the next chapter of our lives.

I guess what I'm saying is that I know these next few weeks are going to be hard but we can't move forward without them. And moving forward is good.

1 comment:

Natalie and family said...

Oh sweetie I know exactly how you feel. I wont see Brad again till feb and he left on the 11th of July so I am with you and my heart is hurting all over again for you and Alex. This is why we military families stick together:) You are in my heart and prayers. Hope things go well for Chris and you and Alex stay busy and enjoy the rest of your summer. Wish I could be there and take you and Alex out to play somewhere. As for the money thing I am unfortunately in that boat right now and have no idea how to get out of it and I still have to find the money to buy my books for fall semester ne ways this too shall pass and God will provide I keep telling myself:) God Bless you and Keep you all safe and happy and moving forward :)