Figures

So, guess who called today? Yep. Mr. Reserve Guy!

We've been waiting for *months* for a phone call with a recruiting positing. A terrific civilian job opportunity arises, Chris takes it and then a little more than two weeks later we get the phone call that we've been waiting for since September. That, right there, is our life story. Things like that happen to us all of the freaking time!

We've weighed the pros and cons of each position and each area. As much as Chris has always wanted to be stationed there (literally since day one of active duty), the civilian job is a better opportunity for us right now.

Civilian works means...
*Chris can gain some valuable work experience and further his career in a much more efficient way. He can stay current on all things computer easier when he's doing the job daily and not just one weekend a month. (Though he'll still do one weekend a month too.)

*The hours won't be as long or as stressful so we'll be able to catch up on all of the lost couple and family time.

*One state is six hours away, the other is about twelve. The probability of house guests drops dramatically after the eight hour mark. (Wait. Is that a pro or a con?)

*We know several people in the area and have family less than two hours away in two directions.

I think the biggest reason I'm so upset about not accepting the recruiting offer is because I was actually looking forward to going back to military life. It's the only thing we've known and the thought of being adults without it scares me a little bit.
The other reason is that I just feel bad for Chris. I know how much he's always wanted to be stationed there. Sure, we can always visit. It's just wont be the same.

So the move to Civilian Job Land is set. I'm excited about what's in store for us and will do my best to focus on the good things that will come our way. Dwelling on what could have been won't do any good. I know we've made the best decision for our family, but I can't help but wonder...What if...?

Cracking

I feel like I'm going to break. I have so many emotions swimming around in my head now and I'm not really sure what to do with all of them.

I'm really looking forward to our next adventure. I'm excited to move and I'm reeaallly excited to find a place to call home. Coming into this, we thought we'd only be "homeless" for a couple of months. When it's all said and done it will be a year.

I feel like we've had to put our entire lives on hold for that year. I feel like we haven't been a real married couple and a real family. It's hard to have any conversation without someone seemingly hanging on your every word. It's hard to get into a routine when you have to follow the one already set by the household. It's hard to be yourself sometimes even when it is just family around.

I feel like I'm going to go nuts over the money issue. Overall, we've done really well. We've basically lived off of our savings and extra money we earned from moving for this year. We're at the point where that money is almost gone and I'm worried how we're going to make it through September, let alone set up a new home. On one hand, I am thankful that we really beefed up our savings when we had the opportunity. On the other, I am just raging mad that that money is gone. We had a decent down payment saved. It's gone.

I want to have a wonderful birthday for Alex, even though I know he doesn't know the difference. I don't want him to have to go without. I think any parent can relate to that. That goes for just about everything, not just birthday parties.

I feel like I'm being taken advantage of too. I am constantly cleaning up other people's messes and washing other people's clothes. It gives me something to do but I hate that it feels like it's expected. Is it so hard to take the trash out or wipe the counter off after you make breakfast or lunch for yourself? I only wish I could be a fly on the wall after we leave. Then, and only then, will everyone realize just how good they had it.

I'm bubbling with excitement, sad that Chris is leaving, worried about money, frustrated with our situation and hurt by my family. I wish that is was all just a dream and I'd wake up tomorrow in our new home.

Crazy Mixed Up Mess

The next few weeks are going to be a few of the hardest ever. They are also a few of the most exciting. On July 23, my husband will leave us for six weeks. At the end of that six weeks we'll finally be moving. The latter can't happen without the first.

We've dealt with separations before. The longest was a year. I'm not doubting that we'll make it through one bit. We've just never been in this exact situation while dealing with a separation before. I'm sure the days will crawl by one moment and speed by the next. All in all, it's really only the month of August. The only "biggie" is that Alex's birthday also comes in August. :(

We're going to try to take advantage of the next week or so. I'd like to take a zoo trip or go to the spillway. You know, do something fun before Daddy leaves. It looks like summer has come to Northwestern Pennsylvania today. I hope it's here to stay so we can get out and enjoy it.

I am actually really excited about what's in store for us. I know some people don't like surprises but I think this will be a good one. We're ready to see what's next. We NEED to see what's next because the situation we're in isn't as pleasant as it once was. Ah, family...