Breathing a Sigh of Relief

I am proud to say that I think we may have done it. We're about two seconds away from being homeowners!

After a really long, drawn out process with Mr. and Mrs. Seller, we've finally come to the end. While I can appreciate that they wanted to be sure they had a place to call home, they really dragged it out as long as they could.

Our next hurdle will be to have the home inspection completed. It doesn't appear that there will be any issues but stranger things have been known to happen to us. ;) We'll know more after it's completed on Wednesday.

Hopefully we'll be able to call Maple Avenue home sweet home soon.

Playing the Game

As I said in an earlier post, our move to Civilian Job Land is set. We are now in the process of negotiating an offer on a house. This, I didn't bargain for.

What a stressful time! I feel like I'm in the middle of a huge poker game. The only bad thing is that I don't have a clue how to play poker! This house isn't our dream home by far but, somehow, we've both fallen in love with it. It's hard to stop myself from imagining how this or that would look. I'm a dreamer. I like to pick out paint colors and make things my own. It's really hard NOT to do that yet.

We've had the seller's agent tell our agent that they intend to accept our counter offer. That was yesterday. I understand that the sellers are trying to find a home too. They didn't want to put in an offer on a home until they had one in our their current home. That, I get. It's just so hard to wait. I wanted to be in this house yesterday, not a month and a half from now.

So we wait. We play The Game and hope that it all turns out well. If not, I know there is another home out there for us. It'll just be hard to stop dreaming about this one.

The End

I've taken quite a long break from this blog. I was starting to feel like it was the same old post again and again. Our lives were pretty much at a standstill and I didn't know what else to write about.

Since then, there have been several new developments.
In September I officially started my own photography business. This is something that I have wanted to do for several years but I didn't have the right equipment or resources. I am so glad things fell into place at just the right time for me to get things off the ground. God is good!
Check out my website or visit my photo blog!

We also have wonderful news to report! We are finally moving!! We've decided to go in another direction and not go with the recruiting. It was likely going to be another 3-6 months before an assignment came our way (nearly a year after the class) so we've gone the civilian route.
I am so happy that we'll be able to "start over" with our lives again very soon! I feel like everything has been on hold since we've been here. Living here has had its challenges for sure but I'm sure I'll think of all the great memories we've made here for a long time.
It has been a blessing to have our son spend a little over a year surrounded by his grandparents (both sets) and his great grandmother. Those are the kinds of things you take for granted when you live close, but miss like crazy when you live far away.

Our move will take us about six hours from "home". I'm hoping that this lends itself to some good, quality family time for the three (maybe four someday?) of us and the opportunity for visitors from time to time.

We're so excited about his new chapter in our lives! The end has definitely come here but, I think, it's just the beginning. I'll be sure to update during our transition.

Almost a Full One

I am happy to report that we have nearly survived the first full week of Daddy being gone. Not that I had any doubt that we wouldn't...

We've been keeping busy. So far we've attended Ben's party and made a Walmart run. LOL Sounds like a jam-packed week, huh?

Tomorrow, I'm contemplating attending a special event at our local library. He really loves music and dancing BUT this event takes place at nap time. There aren't many things that trump a nap so the jury is still out on that one.
Bubba will get to stay with Grandma in the evening while I do a Pampered Chef show though. That should be fun (for both of us). He likes playing with Grandma and I need some time away from the house without my shadow. It's a win-win.

I do feel bad for my little Bubba though. He is so confused and it breaks my heart. He'll pick up my cell phone and say, "Daddy?" or just randomly say, "Daddy home." in the middle of the day. He doesn't want to talk to Daddy when he calls because, quite frankly, I think he's mad at him for leaving. He doesn't understand that he'll be back in a few weeks. I'm sure it will get better as the weeks go on.

So other than a few stressful situations and moments where I was at the end of my rope, we made it unscathed through most of week one. The next couple of weeks should zoom by as my brother and sister-in-law will be in town visiting. After they leave we should find out where home sweet home will be so then I can spend my days daydreaming about unpacking the things we haven't seen in nearly a year. :D

T-Day

Today Chris left for Texas. His flight left from Pittsburgh at 7:30 am so we decided to get up in the middle of the night (3:00) to drive rather than making the trip the day before. If we would have gone on Wednesday afternoon/evening, we would have had to spend the money on a hotel, a dinner out and fight with Alex to sleep (he is NOT a good hotel sleeper). It was just much easier, as crazy as it sounds, to get up at early and be home by 7:30.

We had a rainy drive in the dark. I was glad that Chris was driving because there is nothing I hate more than driving in the rain in the dark. I have horrible night vision and the rain just makes it worse. Makes you wanna take a ride with me after dark, doesn't it? ;) Thankfully, I had a much less rainy drive home AND it was light out. Bonus!

Our good-bye was short and sweet. I could barely talk in the car without wanting to cry so I just didn't say anything. I always try so hard to be "me" when we have to say good-bye.

I guess it all stems from our good-bye before he left for Korea...

With all of the stress and preparations with our move from Texas, I hadn't really had much time to actually think about how he would be gone for an entire year. The night before I was to leave for the drive home, I lost it. The house was empty and we were sleeping on a pile of borrowed blankets. It all just sunk in and I bawled like a baby. Chris asked me if I could do him a favor. He asked me if, when we said good-bye the next morning, I would try hard not to cry. He wanted to have a happy image of me to take with him.

I'm proud to say that I did it. I'm not sure how, but I did. I always think of that now when he has to leave for an extend amount of time. I thought about that again this morning.

The next six weeks will be a mix of things, I'm sure. I know there will be sleepless nights, early mornings, frustrating days, and huge messes. I know that there will be afternoons without naps and late evenings. I also know that there will be lots of laughs and several milestones. The biggest of those milestones being a second birthday.

In a really weird way, I'm looking forward to this time. It's always nice to prove to myself that I can do things alone. It's really empowering. I'm looking forward to some time to gather my thoughts to get ready for the next chapter of our lives.

I guess what I'm saying is that I know these next few weeks are going to be hard but we can't move forward without them. And moving forward is good.

Cracking

I feel like I'm going to break. I have so many emotions swimming around in my head now and I'm not really sure what to do with all of them.

I'm really looking forward to our next adventure. I'm excited to move and I'm reeaallly excited to find a place to call home. Coming into this, we thought we'd only be "homeless" for a couple of months. When it's all said and done it will be a year.

I feel like we've had to put our entire lives on hold for that year. I feel like we haven't been a real married couple and a real family. It's hard to have any conversation without someone seemingly hanging on your every word. It's hard to get into a routine when you have to follow the one already set by the household. It's hard to be yourself sometimes even when it is just family around.

I feel like I'm going to go nuts over the money issue. Overall, we've done really well. We've basically lived off of our savings and extra money we earned from moving for this year. We're at the point where that money is almost gone and I'm worried how we're going to make it through September, let alone set up a new home. On one hand, I am thankful that we really beefed up our savings when we had the opportunity. On the other, I am just raging mad that that money is gone. We had a decent down payment saved. It's gone.

I want to have a wonderful birthday for Alex, even though I know he doesn't know the difference. I don't want him to have to go without. I think any parent can relate to that. That goes for just about everything, not just birthday parties.

I feel like I'm being taken advantage of too. I am constantly cleaning up other people's messes and washing other people's clothes. It gives me something to do but I hate that it feels like it's expected. Is it so hard to take the trash out or wipe the counter off after you make breakfast or lunch for yourself? I only wish I could be a fly on the wall after we leave. Then, and only then, will everyone realize just how good they had it.

I'm bubbling with excitement, sad that Chris is leaving, worried about money, frustrated with our situation and hurt by my family. I wish that is was all just a dream and I'd wake up tomorrow in our new home.

Crazy Mixed Up Mess

The next few weeks are going to be a few of the hardest ever. They are also a few of the most exciting. On July 23, my husband will leave us for six weeks. At the end of that six weeks we'll finally be moving. The latter can't happen without the first.

We've dealt with separations before. The longest was a year. I'm not doubting that we'll make it through one bit. We've just never been in this exact situation while dealing with a separation before. I'm sure the days will crawl by one moment and speed by the next. All in all, it's really only the month of August. The only "biggie" is that Alex's birthday also comes in August. :(

We're going to try to take advantage of the next week or so. I'd like to take a zoo trip or go to the spillway. You know, do something fun before Daddy leaves. It looks like summer has come to Northwestern Pennsylvania today. I hope it's here to stay so we can get out and enjoy it.

I am actually really excited about what's in store for us. I know some people don't like surprises but I think this will be a good one. We're ready to see what's next. We NEED to see what's next because the situation we're in isn't as pleasant as it once was. Ah, family...

You're Welcome

After a very exhausting weekend, we had the most wonderful experience on our way home.

We stopped at the rest area just outside of Meadville, PA. I love this rest area. There is a ton of grassy area and there are several picnic tables. It is such a park-like setting. It really breaks up the trip to be able to get out and run with Bubba for a few minutes. With so much grass, I don't worry about the cars because we're so far from them.

ANYwho, we had to stop for a couple of reasons (one being to pee and the other being to fix my messed up contact lens). We decided to take advantage of that grass and play. I grabbed the trusty bat and ball (it hadn't failed me yet) and we started to play.

Since we left as soon as Daddy was done with his meeting, he was still in uniform.

*I don't know how many of you know the "rules" of being in uniform but there are a couple. First of all, you have to wear you're BDU shirt outside. You can't just run around in your fancy camouflague  pants and be done with it. Secondly, you must always wear your hat. So needless to say there is no way to make yourself look like you're not in uniform if you're in uniform.*

As the three of us took turns being the pitcher and the batter, I had a thought. How all-American do we look right now? A little boy plays baseball with his uniformed Daddy.
Apparently others were thinking the same thing. A nice older woman came over and asked Daddy were he was serving. She shared that she had two sons in the military, one in Afghanistan and one serving as a active duty recruiter in the Pittsburgh area. She thanked him for his service and went off to continue her journey.
Not much later, another older woman approached us with arms outstretched. She thanked Chris for his service to his country and then turned to me and thanked *me*. She remarked how it was so nice to see a family together, etc.

In his ten years of service, NEVER did a stranger thank Daddy for his service. Certainly no one ever thanked me. I was nearly in tears when I told that sweet woman, "You're welcome."

Greener Grass

So here's something I never thought I'd hear myself say: I miss Alaska.

For the nearly three years we were there, I couldn't wait to leave. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed living in the Land of the Midnight Sun. I'm what most would call a homebody and Alaska was just a bit too far from home for my tastes. Add to that the fact that, after a while, you start to feel like you're stranded on an island because you can drive for days and never leave the state and I was ready for my ticket home.

Having said that, I am really grateful for the experience. The scenery is something I've never seen in my life. I honestly couldn't stop staring at the mountains for weeks (And yes, they really do look purple sometimes.) While we were in TLF I would literally sit on the corner of the spare bed and stare out at the simple beauty of the sun hitting the side of the bare mountain. I would stare at all of that beauty out of just one window and wonder how someone could say God doesn't exist.

Moose and their calves, Dall sheep, grizzlies, otters... Honey, we're not in Pennsylvania anymore! In PA the biggest thing to wonder out in front of your car is a white tail deer (Or, in some cases, a random farmer's cow.) and road kill usually looks something like a rabbit, skunk, "possum" (as we say it around these parts) or squirrel.

As with living in any other part of the country, I slowly started to take my scenery for granted. "Yep, there's another mountain." "Oh, another moose in the backyard." "There's a black bear running around the neighborhood again? I was just going to go get the mail!."

It wasn't until we were a few days away from leaving that the thought of never seeing such things again really hit home. Happy to be heading back to Pennsylvania but sad to leave this adventure behind. That was me
.
I find myself checking up on all of my friends still living in Alaska. What's the temperature today? Any more snow? Any animals wondering about? What's new on base? How's that construction mess on the Glenn looking?

I suppose I'm just feeling a bit misplaced. Yep, we're home. Literally. Moving yourself, husband, toddler, dog and cat (and all of the necessary items for each) in with your parents isn't all it's cracked up to be. While I'm eternally grateful for the roof over our heads and the food in our bellies, I'm ready to move on. It's wonderful to be back "home" among family and friends but somehow I just don't know where I belong anymore.